Trip into archives has detail of monkeys racing dogs
Thursday, July 22, 2010
In lieu of new material for the summer, we have traipsed into our archives. Increased interest online in the below-mentioned material is cause for our selection.
NEW YORK (Trumbull Monkey Racing Newswire) — Call it the sport of kings of the jungle. In front of a packed-in house Thursday at the Dog Aqueducts in Queens, 2-to-3 favorite Fueled by Postum delivered on her promise as a dog which could be raced extremely fast by a trained monkey, taking the first Dog Triple Crown win in the history of Thoroughbred Monkey on a Dog Racing (TMDR). She won in easy fashion, glistening to the finish by bit more than two-and-a-thirds of a daschund’s length.
“She raced extremely well for a dog ridden by a monkey,” owner Abe Metro, of the fledgling movie house Metro, Goldwyn and Mayer, remarked from the dog winner’s circle. “This was a race for our president, Herbert Hoover.”
It was also the third win in as many races for Postum, which won the Preakness Monkey Stakes by two lengths and the Kansas Derby by five. Her owner stands to receive a healthy $82.50 sum for successful stewardship resulting in the Dog Triple Crown.
Monkey jockey Cynthia the Monkey, at the helm for all three Triple Crown races, rode Postum hard from the start and gained good distance from the first turn with stern usury of the reins. Postum, ever anxious to please her monkey boss, dug into the bit and began a violent, timed series of dog kicks, pushing dog rival and 3-to-1 shot Hotdogcracy into a dog hole its monkey jockey Stella the Monkey could not dig out of.
Then followed that beautiful season… Summer….
Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscape
Lay as if new created in all the freshness of childhood. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Summer for some people is fried corn, boat shoes in the park, cutoff jean shorts, independently-funded adult contemporary music, and bike rides to some pizza place on a checklist. Not us. Summer here includes but is not limited to: body odor, moldy linen suits, potato, and cheese burekas by the pound in holey and dewy plastic bags, barbeques gone wrong, twenty-dollar bills gone missing, starters’ arms and bullpens destroyed, camping for free and for pay, vacuum-sealing, the air conditioner’s box, getting the measles, sweating on the train platform, Billy Joel cover bands at Belmont, two-a-days, Mr. Two-Showers-A-Day, rotten, dead-air Sportscenters, wilting second-hand books, Ms. Undershirt-A-Day, spur moviegoing, shredded and curly cardboard diet coke and king can cases, Manon Rheaume drunk at the cottage, better parking spots, more sleep and less, Civic Holiday, pressurizing stretch runs, tons of tourists, cashing out and the subsequent race for rare joints.
Curation of soccer videos for people who wear overalls and use fast orange
Thursday, June 17, 2010
The World Cup is underway, which is awesome, for the reason that Charles P. Pierce describes: live, important daytime sports. Never underestimate the lightness and color that these excellent proceedings add to a day. Nothing better:
'Magic? You just pissed on a Gypsy in the middle of fucking nowhere.'
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Michael “Mickey” Gordon Peterson, d/b/a Charlie Bronson in the British prison system, is one of the craziest men alive. Originally sentenced to seven years for an armed robbery, he has now spent over 30 years of his life (he is 57) confined to a solitary cell due to his notoriously violent behavior directed towards his captors and the structures that kept him locked away from human interaction for so long. Charlie never gave up on himself, and over the last decade has quit fighting and taking hostages and now spends his time exercising, writing, and creating art.
You’ve really gotta check out the 2008 film about the guy, “Bronson,” directed by Nicolas Winding Refn (a Dane1). It seems pure accuracy was not Refn’s intent, setting out instead to make a film that depicted Charlie the way he actually saw himself during the years of his life when he was proudly, dedicatedly programmed for chaos. Visually, Larry Smith, the “Bronson” cinematographer, seems to have take some cues from working on the set of “Eyes Wide Shut” as a lighting cameraman back in ’99. The music in the film is also very good. I should also mention that Tom Hardy was decreed Best Actor by the British Independent Film Awards in 2009 for his role as the titular colossal man himself (he, too, is colossal).
So let’s open the file and learn more about this fascinating man.
Spring is finally here, an unquestionable sign that summer is just around the corner, a fact has a few implications for me: lots of swimming, lots of traveling, lots of All American Hamburger, lots of Ralph’s Italian Ices and tons of soul music of all varieties.
From my collection of Northern Soul, Soul and R&B 45s I’ve compiled a mix of what I feel are some essential sunny weather tunes that apply in many warm weather situations: dance parties, beach ragers, BBQs, and road trips just to name a few. There is a criterion for a feel-good summer soul song that I used to find the best examples for said mix. Blaring horns almost always a must, desperate, almost screamed, soulful vocals with instantly memorizable melodies, ripping upbeat drums, syrupy sweet guitar hooks (see Steve Cropper for a lesson), a little bit of whistling in some instances, organs in most, and finally, a good sturdy and bouncy bass line. There are a few exceptions to the formula here, which I’ve added for tension and to create some valleys and peaks.
These songs are intended get your foot moving, your head shaking, and to compliment the crazy feeling of a hot summer in the streets of America. Winter is dead, let’s celebrate.
What’s a Trumbull Man? I’m not entirely sure. But I know one (pause) when I see one. And Dwight “Doc” Gooden is that.
Doc broke into the bigs in 1984 and proceeded to pitch three years of the best baseball anyone ever saw. A Nike mural featuring the Mets ace remained on the side of the Holland Hotel on w. 42nd St. for 10 years. (Speaking of numbers, Doc’s appetite was revered around the clubhouse — one teammate claimed Gooden ate 30 chicken wings in one sitting.) The boy was young and skinny, tall like a string bean and straight out of high school in Tampa, Fla., (with a pit stop in Class A Lynchburg, where he went 19-4) with a 98 mph heater and an infectious fun-loving attitude that New York City adored. They nicknamed his curveball “Lord Charles” and dubbed him Doctor K, eventually shortened to Doc. He was The Man in New York during Wall Street’s heyday, though No. 16 would eventually amble down a dark path, struggling with cocaine addiction for the remainder of his career, which ended in 2001 with the Yankees at spring training.
A troubled a man as ever a Trumbull Man was, Dwight Gooden, we salute thee.
The baseball-rock nexus is a weird one. Lots of serious guys with goatees and bad white shoes, lots of guitars, lots of Americana. Some weird indie rock bands have baseball-themed albums. But this photo might be weirder. And weirder in the good Psycho Sin way, not the bad intense goatee way.
Children's Show host is everywhere if you're thirsty
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Xuxa (above, left) is best known as the children’s show performer in Brazil. Generations of South American children grew up watching her shows and listening to her records, though she never really did well in North America. Unlike most children’s show hosts, she posed for Playboy in 1982, dated Pele and Ayrton Senna, the F-1 racer, and allegedly had sex with a kid in a movie. She is everywhere in Brazil and is worth over a quarter of a billion dollars. She was spotted in Brazil hawking beverages both healthy and non-, knowingly and unknowingly:
I apologize for only getting to this now, but the pile of mail on my drafting desk is both impressive and beckoning. Well, mostly beckoning. It might be impressive to you, though. Anyways, I was going through my personal video recorder (as in, we were playing tackle football, and I lined up in the slot, took the pass and barreled through the young fellow who personally records my videos), and he (Phil) mentioned a going-on in the Association he thought I might be interested in. To be sure, I haven’t watched much basketball since Penny Hardaway‘s second retirement, but Phil was bleeding, so I humored him.
After some hot toddys and an organic chicken burrito, I rolled Phil into the chamber and let him set up the video. Here it is. Jarrett Jack, who I went to boarding school with (though I didn’t know him personally), was playing point for the mighty Toronto Raptors, in relief of the efficient Jose Calderon. Facing the Bulls on Dec. 5, Jack moves the ball upcourt, and as the offense sets, he bends down and ties his shoelaces. Not sure why he did this. The other four move around but nothing happens. The play then stops. Jack had nine assists and a +/- of +13, but this play was confusing.
But then, we know the rumors that allege that Jack came to Toronto to keep his best friend Chris Bosh happy and keep him from leaving the Raptors, like so many have in the past. Maybe he can do whatever he wants?
Everything You Didn't Know About Emping and Didn't Have the Foresight To Ask
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The Scene R3ader supplied us with a partial glossary of terms, just in case today’s Emping post needed any clarification.
Buffer: The quantified value for the difference between your uploads and your downloads — the calculation of which (megabytes up/megabytes down) determines your ratio.
The Cycle: Downloading the FLAC, 320, V0, and V2 rips of a new popular album on a tracker-based Web site for the betterment of one’s ratio.
Dupe: A duplicate upload of an already existing torrent on a tracker-based Web site.
Emp: An MPEG-1 Audio Layer 3 file, commonly referred to as an Mp3. Also used as a verb, meaning to download Mp3s.
Lossy: When any audio source is compressed and audio quality is compromised for the sake of file size (Mp3s are inherently lossy). Note that FLACs — Free Lossless Audio Codecs — are lossless.
What’s a man? What’s a Trumbull man? Hard to say for the first, gets a little easier for the second. I’d like to think there are a lot of variables that go into these guys, but the concentric space where they meet is where this all started. We have a good idea what a Trumbull man is, but you can keep referring to this chart on our arcing rise to power, and say, sometime around 2021, “Hey, these guys had a point…also, where is my robot butler Jeremy? He should be back from the post office.”
In lieu of new material for the summer, we have traipsed into our archives. Increased interest online in the below-mentioned material is cause for our selection.
