Trumbull Island – Home of Trumbull Magazine

Stop by our Facebook page today for your chance to win a Trumbull shirt.¹ All you gotta do is post the best picture on our wall. Can it be so simple?

On Monday July 12, Trumbull Island is co-sponsoring a hip hop party at St. Jerome’s, 155 Rivington St in New York City. No cover, cheap drinks, and maybe some Trumbull tees. Naughty ragers get spankings. See you there!

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Marina Abramović: The Artist is Present is still showing at the MoMA through May 31. The exhibit is quite extensive and should take one a couple hours to thoroughly inspect. There are plenty of nudes hanging out, from the two you must¹ squeeze through to enter her retrospective, to the one laying grimly beneath a human skeleton. But you may want to budget some additional time, say, all day, if you want your turn to sit face-to-tace with the artist herself. Not sure what these people walk away with (or without) after a silent staring contest with Marina, and we’re not ones to just jump in any New York line, though we do love peepin’ em.

We at Trumbull are pretty into chicks with expensive taste who can hang with street vermin, so, quickly, watch the Yugoslav performance artist pioneer deal with two of the world’s most disparate commodities: rats and gold.

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We were flabbergasted to learn the whereabouts of a Trumbull heirloom when photos from Gilbert Arenas’s gun collection hit the Web this week. You see, young Gilbert and his teammate Javaris Crittenton drew on each other in the locker room over a gambling debt/as a prank on Christmas Eve, 2009. Now Gilbert’s self-proclaimed better than 500-piece collection is a matter of public record.

One of our wayward nephews lost this magnificent Golden Eagle in a game of Low Chicago in an ass-scratch hamlet of Missouri back in the late ’80s. If memory serves, he also lost a white Z28 and his grandfather’s Templar sword in the same game. He used to keep the sword in his trunk and claimed to have used it twice, once on a “crazy horse” and the other time he wouldn’t tell us about. It’s been years since we crossed paths with Skip, but it gives us some comfort to know that at the very least, his former possessions are still circulating among high(ish) society.

click to see all three photos

Photo by Kenneth Cappello

Are they really sending him away this time? Poor chap. He simply refused to go anywhere without … excessive firepower — I suppose it was only a matter of time before John Law caught up with our friend. Look, I’m strapped — that’s a given. You see this? This is a Remington. <discharges three shots into the ceiling> What does Dwayne need with scatter-shot and automatics? Oh, look, some of the ceiling’s landed on your hat.

I’ll sorely miss our South Beach shopping sprees and his jokes. There was the day I introduced him to crêpes at A La Folie. He loved them! He must have ordered five different kinds. Slim once told me — this was last year — oh, forget it.

The boys say they’ve been pestering you with a list of “Lil Wayne’s” best mixtape tracks on their Twitter account, and asked me to say a few words to introduce their fancy little playlist. So, without any further ado, Trumbull’s Top 10 Weezy mixtape jams:

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Hey everyone. This thing on? So, we were all over the place this week. Washington. Haiti. Beijing. Gov. Paterson‘s mansion. We took photos in the utility closet, which we called the “Hurt Locker.” Trust us, it’s funny. Not the closet itself, that place is the opposite of funny. It’s dark. Real dark.…

We dropped by Mike’s Apartment. He’s not in porno anymore, but he throws a hell of a party. Grillo’s Pickles made a cameo. Neysa Malone, the NYC street-famous singer called us with some news: “I got this new song ‘Walking Zombies.’ It’s about us against the zombies meaning everybody who is brainwashed by the media. In the video, we, the street fighters, take over. It should be out very soon!” Neysa’s been on her grind lately, and we’ll sure be keeping our eye on her this year.

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Benny, have a seat. No you may not. Keep it on. Benny, why did you disturb those men today? Which men? You know who we’re talking about, Benny.¹ That’s right, Messrs. Carter and Combs, very good.

Now, Benny, we’ve talked about this — about the character. But certain men deserve respect, even from a character, don’t you think? Benny! You put that mask back on! I don’t wanna see your face right now, I am not in the mood!

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Pitchers and catchers report in less than a week, which means that soon enough, we’ll be in the throes of the wonderful slow ticking that is a baseball season. I can’t wait. No discredit to my Canadian roots, but PFPs far outweigh skeleton and bobsled. Winter’s over for me. That said, the best hockey of the decade — non-Ottawa Senators division — begins in earnest on Tuesday. The olympic game is faster paced, with no TV timeouts, and flows better, or at least more, than its NHL counterpart. It’s like the Phoenix Suns of ice hockey, and is enough to sway some from the Don Cherry view of post-up, old-time hockey.

There’s plenty of room for the grand old game, and I’m a bit disappointed that a real hockey powerhouse, one with legit star power, was left off the docket.

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Our good friend Josh Feola, from Seravia, helps out with some heavy lifting as we try and get ourselves incorporated.

Science marches on to increasingly meta and postmodern frontiers. This week a few lazy chemists created self-stirring liquids. Meanwhile, a Japanese physicist with a higher ambition to laziness set the ball rolling on the one thing besides flying cars that we all thought would have arrived by this millennium: teleportation. Actually, his achievement (which if I understand correctly is basically just an idea I’ve also heard explained by the wisdom cube) is more philosophy than physics. Basically, you have these theoretical particles floating around the universe, that you measure somehow, and then “the measurement on the first particle injects quantum energy into the system …. [and] by carefully choosing the measurement to do on the second particle, it is possible to extract the original energy.” Dude. If we continue at this rate we may soon surpass plants in quantum efficiency.

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Andre Dawson, but no other player, was elected to the Hall of Fame in January, and it was announced today he’d go in as an Expo. I was disappointed Roberto Alomar, the overarching athlete of my youth, was not elected, but Dawson’s election and the franchise’s attendant publicity has been pleasant. The week of the election, Tyler Kepner of The New York Times wrote an excellent article about the Expos, a great but difficult read. It has been difficult to look back on the Expos. Dawson stated today he didn’t want to be remembered as one. Indeed, almost everything that went wrong did:

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These appear to be the final year-end lists, but for some stragglers. I’d like to give a gracious thank you to the writers here who submitted their lists early or on time. We didn’t forget about you, you’re just anchoring the joint. I hope everyone enjoyed reading and got turned on to new (old) bands, records, sporting events, snacks, what have you. Of course, if something on these lists does not come with a hyperlink, google the boy. It can’t hurt. Thanks again, everyone. Happy new year!
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Here are more lists. And more are on the way! I just saw the Cro-Mags and they were great. Happy New Year!

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Below are the first of many lists breaking down the best stuff from this year and the decade. Ten years, during which we were blessed with an Uppercut reunion, the demystification of skinheads, the growth and shucking of ponytails, hamburgers with five burgers on them, and a couple of Gauze LPs. The below lists are from our friends who have written for the site this year. If we didn’t already thank them privately, or with taco-grams, we’d like to, here, profusely. Thanks for writing, and thanks for writing these lists. If it wasn’t for you all, our readers/reprobates would probably be reading something about baseball right now. Or the Clippers. Or Uppercut. Anyways, hope you (readers) like the lists! Stay tuned this week for many more, including one from Ian Larrabee. Thanks for reading! And Happy New Year!

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