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For Immediate Release: Newbridge Raiders Jr. VP on 2-5 record

MANHATTAN – Newbridge Raiders Football Club Vice President in Charge of Community Affairs, Team Spirit and Towel Rationing Clay Trumbull joins LOC Fantasy Football 2010 Commissioner Jason Barreau and Bombadil’s Beard Water-boy/GM Greg Lamotte, both in absentia, at a LOC Fantasy Football 2010 News Conference on Tuesday, Oct. 26 at approx. 4:30 p.m. ET.

Coming off four straight losses and facing a surging 5-1 Bombadil’s Beard team in front of 34,440 semi-nude fans, the Raiders tallied 75.90 points to Bombadil’s 80.90, dropping the club to 2-5, despite strong showings from new addition Hines Ward and lineup staple Joe Flacco. The game marked the fourth straight in which Raiders contributors were held to under 80 points, despite a strong start.

Newbridge pulled out to an early lead, though with the majority of player-minutes coming at early Sunday, only a wide points margin would have vouchsafed success.

“We looked good at the beginning,” said Trumbull, who confirmed that he received an expletive-filled text from Lamotte after waking up from a mid-afternoon nap.

Ward, who put up his strongest total of the young season, was helped by Flacco’s rebound second half  and a surprise double-digit game from Carnell Williams. Former CFL running back Ricky Williams failed to reach five points against the Steelers, but was offset by counterparts Ronnie Brown and Correll Buckhalter scoring four points for Bombadil’s Beard. By 3:45, with all Raiders players but one starting, the club had put up 50 points, well .

But as the day grew, things began falling apart. Atlanta’s defense could not contain several late Bengals charges, halving production from an otherwise capable deep DEF sleeper. Josh Brown had a middling day with the boot, helping no one, especially himself. Trumbull did not confirm nor deny whether the Raiders would seek

Four p.m.’s 13-point would not stand past the dinner bell. Bombadil starter Aaron Rodgers was chipping away at the lead, eventually exploding for 17-plus points. Antonio Gates finished up outplaying his projections by several points each.The death knell came in the third quarter, on an improbable touchdown by Randy Moss, a Bombadil’s Beard starting wide receiver who does not have a bye week this season. By 9:15 p.m., Trumbull had texted his strength and conditioning coaches to schedule an emergency meeting.

“It’s a tough way to lose,” said a despondent Trumbull to the pool reporter Tuesday morning. “It was so bad that [Lamotte] sat his flex [troubled wide received Dez Bryant] on Monday night.”

“Am I disappointed by my team?” asked Trumbull, in a statement.

He continued: “Of course. The draft picks  and trades have not been as succulent as we hoped. We emptied the cupboard by trading away [Brandon] Jacobs for tight end help, and we still came up short. But now the games we hope to win in November become games we expect to win.”

He added, “We are still just a few bounces of the ball away from being competitive.”

He continued: “Look, I think we were hosed. Bombadil’s Beard drafts  on position, not talent. They’re a good team but they have holes. [Correll] Buckhalter didn’t get one [expletive-deleted] point. Sunday, we ran into a couple of bad matchups. The entire organization, from the cleaning lady to the cross checker to Steve Smith (Carolina) is feeling the loss today. But the blame does not fall on the players — it falls on me. And no one is more worried about the 2-5 record than the guy holding the microphone and refilling your drinks.”

Smith hasn’t been healthy since mid-September, infuriating some fantasy owners. There has also been discussion about the disquieting locker room chemistry — never an issue with the heralded squads of Newbridge past.

“I’m looking ahead to Week 8.”

Trumbull deflected the matter. “I’m not losing sleep over that. The Raiders are turning our attention towards Week 8. [Reggie] Wayne is back. So are [Derrick] Ward, Keller and Holmes. We need a defense and a quarterback but I believe we have a good chance to win.”

Trumbull did not comment on the possibility of recouping the league’s entry fee, but said he was “looking into arranging alternative arrangements.”

The Newbridge Raiders are a for-profit category W (win) Fantasy Sporting Club, incorporated in 2005 under various funny names, with holdings in Fantasy Baseball, Basketball, Football, Premier League Football, World Cup Football and College Basketball Pick-em, and Hockey platforms, and outsider status vis-a-vis NASCAR and Full-Contact Tiddlywinks. The Raiders boast one title in Basketball against NBA Fans Year 2, during which the club also set an assists record that has yet to be eclipsed. 2010 brought significant focus on baseball operations, and the club’s strong emphasis on Baseball America-recommended strikethrowers and 65+ power hitters netted the club a healthy strikeout-and-walk rate and the strongest regular season record in a professional league. Fantasy Hall of Famers Tom Brady, Deron Williams, Troy Murphy, Miguel Olivo and Cale Yarbrough are all counted as Raiders alumni, as is D.J. Shocklee, ex-Atlanta.

More information can be found at /newbridge_raiders_official/kids/ and wait for the prompt, then dial 5 and the pound sign and wait six-to-eight weeks. All Newbridge Raiders logos, cup cozies and sweatshorts are property of Newbridge Raiders Sports Holdings of Walpole, N.H., and may not be worn without express written consent of a civil majority of the Fantasy League Commissioners, with the exception of the sweatshorts that are not beholden unto these rules (cf. Sweatshorts Referendum Act of 1976).

2 Comments

  1. TOM BOMBADIL wrote:

    First of all SUCK MY DICK YOU LOSER.

    Second of all, how dare you say I have holes in my team.

    LT had a bye, and I sat DEZ to avoid RAPING YOUR ASS.

    DEZ put up 20 POINTS.

    SUCK MY DICK.

    Also, I got Bush coming in this week, how dare you say my team has holes?

    Worry about your plugging up your sinking ship before searching for holes in my war vessel.

    Tuesday, October 26, 2010 at 4:34 pm | Permalink
  2. trumbull1 wrote:

    “We had one point off the bench.” – Clay Trumbull media dept.

    Tuesday, October 26, 2010 at 4:45 pm | Permalink

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