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Mass Movement

Last Tuesday, Martha Coakley, she of the wooden personality and Curt Schilling mix-up, lost a special election for Ted Kennedy’s vacated Senate seat to Republican Scott Brown, ending Massachusetts’ 30-year run of sending two Democrat senators to Washington. The loss has been roundly rejected as a disaster, but the Commonwealth has known plenty of Republican governors. There is a strong Catholic base there, and, simply put, not everyone in the state is a liberal. The election was called a referendum on health care, but with Massachusetts boasting the most progressive system in the states, it’s hard to say whether this was the case. The New York Times breaks things down in a graphic. We spoke to some citizens,1 asking them their opinion.

1. Rajon (Boston): “I’m not going to tell you how I voted or nothing, but times are tough. I had to sell my Bentley to an Italian ***** on eBay. Those sellers fees weren’t pretty.”

2. Marty (Woburn): “I always vote red for the Red Sox. Why wouldn’t I? Fuckin’ Yankees Suck bro?”

3. Jason (Stockbridge): “Well, I never leave my room, so why would I need health care? Plus, I think I have good health care.”

4. Phil (1140 Boylston St., Boston): “I’m not going to tell you how I voted. But the election really bothered me. It bothered me so much that I’m going to write a sex-metal opera about it, sort of like Floyd meets Obituary meets Rancid. I just ordered some sequencing pads from Germany, I can’t wait to mess with ‘em.”

5. Sully (Quincy): “What the hell are you looking at?”

6. Sally (Winchendon): “Can I pass?”
Trumbull: “Pastels? No, mostly primary colors. Red and blue.”
Sally: “Oh, OK. One of those.”

7. Bruce Willis (Dorchester, the near future): “Surrogates screwed up the whole voting process!”

8. Cho Hee Han (Bia English, ESL TOEFL, Brighton): “It’s just sucks because I not registered to vote in Mass … Massa … Massachusi.”
Trumbull: “That’s OK baby, you got my vote. You wanna catch the green line to the red line to a bus and party at my friends’ place in Somerville? They probably got some Grillo’s Pickles in the fridge. Maybe some spicy ones.”
Cho Hee Han: “U had me at Grillo.”

9. Travis (Pickle H.Q., Allston): “There’s no justice, there’s just us.”


  1. Some quotes (guess which) are made up.