Link futures are wallowing in recessionary social media sharing protocols
Friday, February 26, 2010
Hey everyone. This thing on? So, we were all over the place this week. Washington. Haiti. Beijing. Gov. Paterson’s mansion. We took photos in the utility closet, which we called the “Hurt Locker.” Trust us, it’s funny. Not the closet itself, that place is the opposite of funny. It’s dark. Real dark.…
We dropped by Mike’s Apartment. He’s not in porno anymore, but he throws a hell of a party. Grillo’s Pickles made a cameo. Neysa Malone, the NYC street-famous singer called us with some news: “I got this new song ‘Walking Zombies.’ It’s about us against the zombies meaning everybody who is brainwashed by the media. In the video, we, the street fighters, take over. It should be out very soon!” Neysa’s been on her grind lately, and we’ll sure be keeping our eye on her this year.
“What happened to that dude, what fucking happened?”
The words rang out from my friend Zac Greer’s shiny, bic’d up head. Al Pacino was on television, one of many stars urging Americans to donate to One.com. The actor looked creaky and old, haggard. Zac was not exactly paying attention, but became saddened. What happened to Pacino, the strapping young colt of “The Panic in Needle Park”? What happened to Serpico, to Bobby Deerfield, to Glen Ross? Zac wondered aloud. We laughed, but five years since the ad’s air date, we’re still none of us sure.
I felt the same way Sunday night watching Canadian Olympic hockey team suffer an ignoble 5-3 home loss at American hands. What happened to the Canadian team, made up of All-Stars and Hall of Famers both? Where did our legs go? Why wasn’t there any fire from the point? Where was the development factory of years past, short and tall Quebecers, broad hosers and technically-citizens from British Columbia? What happened?
After Watching Beavis and Butthead watch Suicidal Tendencies Today
Monday, February 22, 2010
Sometimes it takes fewer words to say what needs to be said. I could spend an hour carping on the brilliance of one of my favorite shows, “Beavis and Butthead.” Some swear by “The Simpsons,” others, “Seinfeld.” Just as with music, I gravitate to Mike Judge’s product over others.
The titular characters are the crown jewel of the show — indeed, of any show on television. It is hard to believe that employees wrote their dialog for nothing more than money, that the two teens did not arrive fully formed. Same goes for Suicidal Tendencies. When the world was created, so too were they, only they bloomed later, around the ’80s. The best band from California, the second-best two-era band (after the Cro-Mags), the baddest dudes to wear Vans. It’s not whether this video is the best of all worlds or isn’t. It’s the truth, and “it speaks for itself.”
Taking the Bull by the throat at 1901 West Madison Street
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Benny, have a seat. No you may not. Keep it on. Benny, why did you disturb those men today? Which men? You know who we’re talking about, Benny.1 That’s right, Messrs. Carter and Combs, very good.
Now, Benny, we’ve talked about this — about the character. But certain men deserve respect, even from a character, don’t you think? Benny! You put that mask back on! I don’t wanna see your face right now, I am not in the mood!
Benny used to be played by Barry Anderson. With such similar names, mascot and maskee lost any individual distinction in the Bulls organization even before the events of July 2, 2006.
Have you been into the John Varvatos store lately, at 315 Bowery?
Did you feel a presence, someone or something, looming nearby? For those familiar with the history of the address, it is a troubling ordeal even to pass by on the sidewalk to see what’s become of one of New York City’s most fabled blocks, never mind the specters who haunt its vicinity. I refer, of course, to the skinheads of New York past. Ghosts nowadays, they used to stomp through this city like wild mastodons, rendering entire neighborhoods safe, or unsafe, depending on who you were.
Nate Turbow is a cartoonist and a DJ living in New York City. Follow him on twitter for updates on the party of life, or if you ever need a little extra motivation to do something awful.
Valuing the Face on the coin and bill, (Grover) Cleveland Style
Monday, February 15, 2010
As in American presidents. Israeli presidents don’t do much. Well, most don’t do much. Canadians have governor generals, who do even less. That said, I will be celebrating in proxy by watching Adrienne Clarkson Presents.
Assessing what's icy, what isn't online for Week 6, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
Pitchers and catchers report in less than a week, which means that soon enough, we’ll be in the throes of the wonderful slow ticking that is a baseball season. I can’t wait. No discredit to my Canadian roots, but PFPs far outweigh skeleton and bobsled. Winter’s over for me. That said, the best hockey of the decade — non-Ottawa Senators division — begins in earnest on Tuesday. The olympic game is faster paced, with no TV timeouts, and flows better, or at least more, than its NHL counterpart. It’s like the Phoenix Suns of ice hockey, and is enough to sway some from the Don Cherry view of post-up, old-time hockey.
There’s plenty of room for the grand old game, and I’m a bit disappointed that a real hockey powerhouse, one with legit star power, was left off the docket.
